Do You Need HELP? HELP Needs You!

Are you unformed, unfulfilled, defective, rotten to the core? Are you happy, slappy, soupy, droopy, jilted, stilted, full of beans? Are you stupid, loopy, poppy, poopy, peppy, impotent, mad with desire? Are you perverted, mangled, twisted, listless, soulful, doleful, pouty, rowdy, unrequited, near-sighted, stripped to the bone?

What you need is Happy’s Easy-to-Swallow Lethiferous Pepto-Bismol (HELP). Now with added Pep! Guaranteed to cure what ails ya! Available at all participating flop joints today!

Recommended Reading

Good for What Ails You by E.M. Sanchez-Saavedra

Quackery, Self-Medication and Reckless Advertising in the Gaslight Era by E.M. Sanchez-Saavedra


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